Embracing your unique journey to success (The Daily Pioneer)

This year, let’s shift our focus inward, honour our unique paths and recognise the triumphs that shape who we are

How often have you beaten yourself up saying you don’t measure up to others in terms of skillsets and success? How often have you undervalued your accomplishments with a desultory wave of hand accompanied by a “Oh, this is something everyone does” or “I haven’t done anything great”? Chances are that we have done it a greater number of times than what is good for our self-esteem and confidence.

A student of mine recently approached me for a review of her college admission essay wherein she had not highlighted many of her strengths that could catch the attention of the admission officer. “Oh, ma’am, these are things everyone in our school does. This isn’t anything extraordinary,” she said. I sat her down and explained: “We aren’t worried about what others are doing. Our focus should be on what we have done so far and how it has been of consequence to us and others.”

The biggest reason for our disenchantment with our lives in this pacy world is we often undermine our capabilities by trying to match them with others and trying to be one up over the rest. 

As long as we keep looking at others, we shall never be able to make the cut, which is completing a task to the best of our abilities, putting forth the best of our ideas as they emerge in our intellect and assessing their value not in terms of where you stand or what your ranking is in comparison, but giving ourselves due credit for the distance we have come given our specific challenges in life. No victory is small.

To the little boy participating in a sack race at school, winning it or making it to the other end without stumbling should be an accomplishment. To a student who successfully makes a presentation in class, the comfort that she feels standing in front of a class and speaking about what she believes in is a success. To a speaker on the stage, the mere fact that she is doing something that many people dread to do and evokes a standing ovation is a matter of great pride. Every little step that takes us forward is significant, not when we think if we are unique by contrast with another, but by how far we have come from where we began.

True growth is not a race gauged by how others are performing but by the milestones, we cross on our journeys. Our fixation with comparison often blinds us to our progress. The yardstick of success is never universal—what feels ordinary to one could be an extraordinary triumph for another. Yet, we diminish our efforts simply because they don’t mirror someone else’s. We forget that personal achievements, however modest they seem, are stepping stones to greater accomplishments. The courage someone musters to speak in public for the first time, or the quiet resilience it takes to rise from personal setbacks—these are victories. They may not be headline-worthy, but they carry profound significance in shaping our character and our path forward.The mistake we often make is believing that success has a standard template. It doesn’t. As we step into a new year, let us make a conscious choice—to shift the gaze inward, to honour our unique journeys, and to celebrate the progress we’ve made, however small it may appear.

Let us define success not by comparisons but by the courage to keep going, the strength to rise after a fall, and the grace to applaud ourselves for showing up.You are enough. Your story matters. And your victories, no matter how quiet, deserve recognition. Here’s to a year where we measure success by our growth, not by how we compare to others. Let those who conquer mountains do so with pride and let those who climb smaller hills find joy in reaching their summits. And for those who can climb neither—whether by circumstance or choice—let their strength shine in being the cheerleaders who uplift others on their journeys.

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Across cultures and ages: The beauty of unexpected friendships

The unexpected joy of forging meaningful friendships in middle age defies the common belief that the best opportunities for connection are behind us

"Your hat is fantastic. It makes you look more Bavarian than any of us",  the concierge quipped as I entered the venue for the coffee-and-cake event at a resort in southern Germany. Although he was stretching the truth — I have neither blonde hair nor blue eyes — I accepted the compliment with a coy smile. “Danke schön,” I said, tipping my woolen hat. Just then, another guest remarked, “That’s a pretty pin on your hat,” pointing to the delicate hand-crafted Edelweiss flower. A cherished gift from my friends, Wolfgang and Amelie, the pin symbolised a friendship that began just a year ago, in this very Bavarian town of Schliersee.

The Wolfgangs — a handsome, warm-hearted couple — are a testament to the unexpected joy of friendships made in middle age. Our bond didn’t begin with shared childhoods or decades of history but with a simple “hello” and an open heart. The modest origins of our connection and the way it blossomed over the past year defy the notion that meaningful friendships are reserved for youth. Our paths crossed serendipitously during an evening walk.

A casual exchange of pleasantries evolved into deeper conversations about life, culture, and shared interests. What began as polite conversation in an Alpine countryside ended with an exchange of coordinates and it continued with texting in the months after. It is widely held that the friends we make in our formative years are the ones who stay, while those forged later in life are fleeting, superficial, or driven by necessity. This belief may hold some truth; adulthood brings with it obligations, scepticism, and wariness.

We become cautious in extending ourselves. The innocence of youthful camaraderie gives way to guarded interactions, and we convince ourselves that the window for profound friendship has closed. Yet, the Wolfgangs remind me that this window is not sealed shut — it merely takes a little more effort to open.

Friendships formed in middle age are special not despite our life experiences, but because of them. We bring to these connections a deeper sense of self-awareness, empathy, and appreciation.

There’s no rush to impress or to conform. The pressures of youthful identity-building are gone. In their place, we find sincerity, authenticity, and the willingness to value people for who they truly are.  They remind us of the universality of human warmth and curiosity. Meeting someone from another country — someone whose life, traditions, and language are different — can feel like discovering an entirely new world.

And when such encounters lead to genuine friendship, they break down the invisible walls that geography and culture often build around us. There is also a profound joy in the intentionality of these connections. In our younger years, friendships are often born of proximity — classmates, neighbours, or college roommates. As adults, friendships require deliberate effort. This intentionality infuses middle-aged friendships with a depth and resilience that can be even more rewarding than the bonds of our youth. I think back to the pin on my hat — that delicate Edelweiss — and I see it as a metaphor for these kinds of friendships. The Edelweiss, a rare Alpine flower, thrives in challenging conditions.

It symbolises courage, devotion, and the willingness to climb new heights. Like the flower, friendships made in middle age might take more effort to cultivate, but they are hardy, resilient, and precious. A year after that first meeting, I found myself once again in Schliersee last month, sharing coffee and cake with the Wolfgangs, laughing over our language blunders and cultural quirks. It is never too late to make friends.