Seeking validation: A necessity more than an add-on to our vanity

Though contentment offers a deep sense of inner peace, validation serves as a crucial motivator

Much to the contrary of the popular belief about happiness being commensurate with the degree of material success, my late father asserted that the key to happiness lies in contentment. Both views have their share of advocates, the former often relying on validation from outside, and the latter, a more philosophical contention anchored in an irrevocable sense of self-assurance.

The philosophy of contentment is a long shot for many of us embroiled in making it materialistically big, and we tend to seek a lot of external validation to determine our core worth. Maybe, the philosophies are based on two entirely different life principles and the value of neither can be dismissed. Success has its sweet trimmings and contentment has its merit, and both may be equally coveted.

What distinguishes one from the other is the element of endorsement we crave for our endeavours. Even the most self-assured person looks for acceptance and recognition, and there is no shame in it. Validation from others is indeed required for us to stay on course, not simply for the ego boost it brings but also for the motivation it gives us to strive and march forward in making a mark in the world. The more sagacious ones among us may, however, hold a different view. I have heard several suggestions that we should not seek approval from others and instead rely solely on our inner convictions.

While this notion seems noble, it underestimates a fundamental human need—to feel seen, heard, and acknowledged by those around us.

To deny the significance of external validation is to ignore an essential part of the human experience. Whether we realise it or not, the approval we seek from others has a profound impact on our self-perception and our efforts to succeed.

When someone validates our work, it serves as a confirmation that we are on the right track. It is a form of recognition that can affirm our abilities, encourage us to push further, and give us the confidence to take risks that we might otherwise avoid.

Take, for instance, the world of creative endeavours. Writers, artists, musicians—those of us in professions where the outcomes are subjective—often look to their audiences for validation. It’s not just about ego or pride. When someone appreciates a piece of art or writing, it signals to the creator that their expression has resonated with others, creating a connection.

It is this recognition that gives an artist the courage to continue crafting, to improve, and to share their innermost thoughts with the world. Without that validation, their passion might wither in isolation. In professional contexts, validation can often come in the form of promotions, awards, or even just a simple “well done.” These acknowledgements are crucial motivators.

They tell us that our efforts matter, that our contributions are recognised, and that we are moving in the right direction. While self-belief is vital, external acknowledgement adds weight to that belief, making it more tangible. It confirms that our skills and efforts are seen as valuable by others, which can propel us toward even greater heights. Furthermore, seeking validation is not just about personal gain—it also creates a cycle of mutual encouragement.

When we validate others, we lift them, creating a supportive environment where everyone’s contributions are acknowledged.

It doesn’t just boost their morale; it strengthens their commitment to the work they’re doing. Of course, we must also be wary of relying solely on external validation. The danger lies in over-dependence, where we begin to measure our worth only by what others say.