No More Free Lunches, Please

Two weeks ago, the man at the vegetable store packed a handful of extra greens, garlic and chillies in a plastic bag and stuffed it into my take-away kit at the end of my shopping. When I offered to pay for it, he raised his hand and said, ‘It’s okay.’ I felt awkward to accept the extras, but I took shopkeeper’s gesture as a compliment for the rapport I had established with him over a period of time.

The episode got me thinking about the great penchant we have for freebies and the gumption with which we ask for them from people.

From asking for ‘an autographed copy’ of my books to expecting my speaking sessions and webinars to be delivered without charge, I have been a ‘victim’ to umpteen such requests. These instances have made me wonder what on earth makes people believe that not paying for a service or a product is an accomplishment. How on earth does that establish one’s smartness as a negotiator?

This is not my experience alone. I have a few musician friends whose skills are par excellence. Of such caliber they are that all that differentiates them from the big-ticket performers are their self-effacing nature and lack of network. I have often seen how they conceal their frustration of being artists pro bono yet continue to perform for free under the garb of creative satisfaction.

As a writer, every time I have mentioned to someone that my writing doesn’t bring me any money, I am advised by acquaintances and friends that I must continue to write regardless of low returns because it is my passion and one must not expect passion to be recompensed. Really?

The other odd argument that we writers and performers often face is that complimentary assignments get us visibility, which is vital to building a formidable portfolio for the future. I would like to stress again that visibility after a period of time becomes over-exposure, and it takes away from the distinction we have in our fields. Our portfolios are over-flowing with credentials, now we want our skills to help pay our bills too. Pure and simple.

We have been easily available for so long that our work is taken for granted and given a run-of-the-mill status. It is time that we held our own against the freebie-seekers and said that we would like to be paid for the following reasons.

First, our talent was not bequeathed to us by our ancestors. We have worked hard, spent years honing our skills to reach this point of proficiency.

Second, what we are expecting is not a compensation, but a reward for the value we add to others’ lives. If one can pay for a movie ticket for the entertainment it provides, what is stopping people from paying for the desirability of our work is beyond me.

Third, can working for free be accepted as a norm by everyone without exception? In that case, there will be no wages nor incentives, no payoffs nor profits. How bizarre that would be! Is the world ready to work for nothing?

As for those who have been living in the shadows of unrecompensed business, here is my word of advice. Learn to say ‘no’.

Your service is of utmost importance to the society, and this makes you deserving of due reciprocation. The kindness and praise that people show by words is humbling, indeed, but what will give your work its true honour is the reward it brings in kind. It makes your knowledge and capability unique. Anything acquired without paying for it is seldom treasured.

It is utter folly to think that asking for a reward will diminish your desirability or make you appear arrogant.

If you are convinced of the value you will add to people’s lives, if you are confident about your role in their lives as a purveyor of happiness, wisdom, pleasure and peace, then be sure that they acknowledge it by paying for it. Let people know in polite ways that you carry a price tag. Make sure you get a return on your intellectual and creative investment. It is a question of not only your professional worth, but also your bread and butter.

Of course, there will be occasions when your heart will prod you to give things away for free to those who deserve it, but it is an informed call you will take. You will decide by your discretion when to ask for credit and when to be charitable. Like the vegetable vendor who gave me the greens because of sheer good will and not by obligation.

Education Needs to Go beyond Giving Subject Proficiency

Last week, I asked the children whom I coach a simple question. ‘What did you learn in the one year of pandemic?’

The answers I got were incredibly straight and similar. From learning to handle computers and getting used to the mask to acquiring better hygiene habits and keeping social distance, they were all operative replies. They were skills the new times had imposed on the children, and without demur they had all adapted to the changes.

However, those weren’t the answers I was hoping to receive, for learning, in my view, is not only about what one does in their daily lives, but also how one handles the dynamic conditions of daily life. Education to me isn’t about the functional changes that come over our life as a result of habitual action and practice. It is about how we evolve and become capable as individuals.

Disappointed with their initial response, I rephrased my question. ‘How has the year of the pandemic changed you as a person?’

It was a fresh trigger for them to start thinking. Some confessed that they hadn’t thought about it at all and others uttered a few vague things. The truth was that the children had not been taken through the exercise of practical wisdom and understanding of how these difficult times could give them new lessons in life, and how it could make them more compliant with the dynamic nature of existence.

If in the long, insufferable year of corona, our children have only learned to use computers and remain sanitised, I sensed that there was something fundamentally wrong with the way we were defining education. And it’s not a surprise. Education has always been a warped means to win accolades and establish financial security in life. While this is an inevitable aspect of everyday survival, to put all our energies into these worldly variables would be a huge folly.

Why do schools, by and large, provide only outward efficiency to our children? If education does not help our children comprehend life as a whole through experience and observation by knowing its inconsistencies and by finding solutions to it, how effective is our teaching in preparing them for the future?

It is true that the primary responsibility of teachers is to equip our children to build a successful life by giving them subject proficiency, but somewhere in the process of doing it, pedagogy seems to have lost its true purpose. Education is increasingly becoming a means of scoring over the other, of gaining power and domination and of establishing supremacy. It has turned into an exercise of erecting a fancy edifice outside without laying a strong foundation inside. We are concentrating more on creating artificial intelligence experts than building a free thinking, ethically strong and empathetic generation that can steer the world through tough times.

If children are not taught to integrate the heart and the mind, how will they grow into better human beings? If they are not given exercises that will help them discover their values and responsibilities, how will they learn to tackle unprecedented crises in their lives? How will they line up with the new challenges of a dynamic world?

This period of pandemic is an excellent opportunity for educators to give children the most potent doses of self-knowledge and observation. This is a window for teaching our young ones how to strengthen their relationship with people, things, ideas and nature. These lessons cannot be inculcated without exposing them to the realities and total process of human existence.

Our educational system has been doing gross injustice to them by making them believe that learning STEM alone will guarantee success in life. It is time we tweaked our core objectives and curriculum to include lessons that will make our children sensitive to the deeper aspects of knowledge so that they come out of real-life crises without snapping.

Let there be active discussions in schools about what is happening around and let students be stimulated to think practically. Let them be encouraged to voice their thought and views openly. Let them be exposed in controlled ways to the hard realities of life and be armed to face the uncertain world. Our schools must create safe spaces that provide them holistic life competency and not just incite fierce academic contests.

An Open Letter to Dr. E. Sreedharan

Dear Sir,

When I first learnt about your electoral loss, I couldn’t say if I was disappointed or happy. My sentiments were, to say the least, ambivalent.

As an unpolitical person, it didn’t concern me which party you represented or what its ideology was. What I thought when you jumped into the fray was — here is a man recognized for his integrity and commitment to public service, aspiring to come to a position of political power from where he could offer us more of his goodness. How better could it get?

The best thing was you were contesting from my home constituency! It heightened my excitement, raised my expectations, and made me cheer for you from a distance. Had I been back there, trust me, I would have cast my vote for you even if you had contested without party affiliations. Because I wanted to see you getting things done for my hometown. That you would deliver for us was a given.

Alas! It was not to be. You didn’t make it to the Assembly as I wished. I was a tad disheartened when the final verdict came and my hopes for my hometown were dashed. But now, a day after the results, I am more sorted in my head. I am happy you didn’t win.

Let me explain.

For starters, I will desist from using the word ‘defeat’ while referring to the outcome; not because you gave your contestants a run for their money or you made them sweat till the last ballet box was opened, but because if what you have accomplished in the 89 years that you have walked this nation isn’t success, what is? Not even the shadow of ‘defeat’ can fall on your extraordinary past and taint it.

Come to think of it, it is not your feats as metro-man alone that makes me revere you. What makes me put you on the pedestal is the manner in which you went about doing your duties. You are a true manifestation of Karma Yoga.

It must be this undying zeal to selflessly serve the nation and its people that made you step into the world of politics. You could never have hankered after power and pelf. That could never have been your motive. If anything, you may have wanted to remain useful to the society till the end. As we can see, retirement to you only meant ending one job to begin another.

Nevertheless, the Universe had other plans for you. It probably decided that you had toiled adequately, and it was time for to you sit back and savour life in tranquility. You have done enough, beyond the capacity of an ordinary mortal, with all your physical, mental and spiritual reserves. Now, you deserve to have moments of peace.

Sir, it doesn’t matter to me that the political mantle didn’t fall on you and you didn’t get a new stint in public life.

I have heard about your deep, spiritual leanings. Perhaps, you could impart the insights to us in the remaining years of your life and help us conduct our lives in a rewarding manner. You have the unparelled experience of a lifetime which we could still use to our advantage.

Who can tell us better about how to run the business of life with such equanimity? Who can teach us better how to shoulder responsibilities without buckling under pressure? Who could explain to us better the secret of dispensing duty with alacrity? Who else can say with authority that one can be both a monk and a material man at the same time?

Extend it to us, in ways you deem fit. Either by public means or private, in the name of politics or philanthropy, whatever you do will add quality to the people’s lives around you.

To that end, my salutations to you. Many congratulations on a life fully expended with purpose and practical wisdom. You are a lot more than votes and victory.

Thank you for building a paradigm of perfect living for us.

I wish you happiness, peace and fulfilment always.